What we are putting our kids through isn’t normal

A version of this column originally appeared in Michigan Advance.

My son wouldn’t tell you this (or even want me telling you this), but he loves school. He of course loves recess and seeing his friends, but he also loves math, reading and art. Although he complains and drags his feet every morning, he typically cannot wait to jump out of the car and run into his elementary school.

So it nearly stopped my heart when he said that he doesn’t “feel safe at school anymore” as he exited the car in the drop-off lane the other day.

My family is one who has done everything in our control to do the “right” thing during the COVID-19 pandemic. When we were asked to stay home, we not-so-gracefully transitioned to working and schooling and living from home. We ate a lot of takeout. We didn’t see family for months, and we celebrated holidays and birthdays via Zoom and FaceTime.

We all got vaccinated, and boosted when possible, as soon as we were eligible. We’ve been wearing masks and recently upgraded our masks in an effort to keep our kiddo in the classroom, where we know he’s happier and does a better job at learning.

And our school district has always done its best to keep our kids safe. Our superintendent is in regular communication with our public health director and with us as families, including regular surveys throughout the early months of the pandemic. It continues to require universal masking, offers a voluntary regular testing protocol to attempt to control community spread and participates in the test-to-stay program to allow kids to learn after an exposure. We know it works because we’ve used each of these opportunities.

The last couple of years have been scary for our kids. When schools started returning in-person, we talked about our kids getting “back to normal.” When extracurricular activities restarted, we talked about our kids getting “back to normal.” When restaurants, movie theaters, and other diversions came back without limits, we talked about getting “back to normal.”

In fact, I, too, recently commented about feeling more “normal” when we, after everyone was fully vaccinated, let our son have his first masked indoor playdate in about 21 months.

However, what we are doing to our kids isn’t normal. And we need to recognize that COVID has had — and will continue to have — a significant impact on the physical lives and mental health of our children.

Even now, nearly two years into the pandemic, rising COVID cases are resulting in some schools needing to return to remote learning, canceled or delayed recreational activities, businesses temporarily closing, hospitals at their breaking points, and a lot of uncertainty and anxiety in our households. And we are, once again, yearning for warmer weather so that we can feel safer in seeing friends again.

But it hasn’t just been COVID causing disruption. I’ve had to have frank conversations with my child about the insurrection at our nation’s Capitol building last year. And I’ve had to have continued discussions with him about school shootings and school safety, which, honestly, as a highschooler during the Columbine tragedy, I didn’t think we’d still be talking about because I assumed we would have made progress by now.

I am grateful to start seeing some discussion about the impact these events have had on our kids. As part of the current year’s negotiated budget, the state included $240 million for schools to hire nurses, social workers and additional counselors.

And the Elementary and Secondary School Emergency Relief (ESSER) Fund dollars that were provided by the federal government could be used to help address some of the social and emotional needs students are dealing with as a result of the ongoing COVID-19 public health crisis.

The Michigan House of Representatives recently announced a bipartisan school safety task force to, in part, assess the mental health needs of our students — that existed long before COVID and that COVID has exacerbated — and make recommendations. We are hoping to see more support of our school-based health centers and community health workers who help connect children with or even provide needed physical and mental health care. We also have the tools to help us get closer to “normal,” including safe, reliable vaccines, masks and tests.

We’ve put our children through so much anxiety the last two years and have made them shoulder so much responsibility. It’s about time we figured out how to allow our kids to be kids. It’s time to provide them with the support they need in order to be kids.

They deserve so much more than “normal.”